I heard a report today that non-calorie sweeteners like Splenda may be counterproductive to weight loss as the body MAY tend to burn future sugar-like calories in a way that is not as efficient. Hmmm. So are scientists trying to convince us that now Sugar (and all its associated calories) is “good for you”. Boy would I like to find out who was behind that study. Maybe, Oh, I don’t know, sugar manufacturers, sugar processors, sugar resellers…..
It’s so ridiculous how many things are bad for you now, that were once good for you, and how many things that used to be bad for, are now considered healthy. Pork, the other white meat, cigarettes cause cancer (like that was a surprise to anyone), don’t cook with lard cause it’s bad for your arteries, oh…wait, but it’s natural, and all those oil and fat substitutes are not processed by your body like the natural kinds found in….say….lard. Hmmmmmmm
The worst part is that we, the public, seem to be like lemmings trying to follow the leader in whatever is popular at the moment. Water is healthy, buy bottled water, bottled water (plastic bottles) is bad for the environment, drink tap water, tap water had lead in it so it’s unhealthy, so drink natural Juice’s, oh wait, the juice comes from bio-engineered fruit grown with hormones….. AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So in appreciation of all the stupid stuff that can kill us, I’ve compiled a small list that I’d like to share with you of just some of the things in this world that are “bad for you”…
· Water – it can drown you, in enough quantity
· Food – it can make you die of obesity
· Dieting – It can lead to anorexia
· Cell Phones – Give you brain cancer
· Video Games – Make you aggressive and kill people
· Fast Cars – Make you wanna speed and die in a car wreck
· Religion – makes you a zealot and unlikable
· Lack of Religion – Makes you go to hell
· Marriage – Makes you solemn, Angry, Spiteful, …
· Exercise – Can cause Injuries
1. Running – Causes Knee Problems
2. Weight Lifting – Causes tendon/Muscle tears
3. Aerobics- Causes tendon and ligament issues (and heart attacks)
4. Extreme Sports – Cause Extreme Injuries
5. Cycling – Can cause you to be run over by a car (especially when you take up the whole dang road like you own it)
6. Hiking – You can get eaten by a mountain lion
7. Walking – You can get mugged
· Lack of Exercise – Can cause heart Attacks
· Sex – You can get STD’s…or worse…married
· Fat Free Food – Can give you the Sunkist Squirts (especially, if they have Olestra in them)
· The Internet – Can get you addicted to porn, gambling, and a Dark Elf Mage with a Flaming Sword of Chastity
· Books – Can lead to poor eyesight, and a job as a librarian
· Incandescent Bulbs – Cause global warming, and increase landfill usage
· The new Fluorescent Bulbs – Can kill you cause they have mercury in them (seriously)
· Taking a bath – You can fall and break your neck (or hip if you’re over 50)
· Flying on a plane – You can crash and die
· Riding in an elevator – You can crash and die
· Riding on a train – you can crash and die
· Driving a car – You can crash and die
· Riding a motorcycle – You can crash and die, or worse, live and have road rash scrubbed out of your skin
· Not get enough sleep – (mixed with the above) you can crash and die, but just won’t know it
· Go to sleep – you can die in your sleep
Etc etc etc
Kinda depressing, Huh. I guess the only option is suck it up, trust that God has the reins and knows where he’s going, and live life until you do die. Because, while you may die tomorrow slipping on a banana peel just before getting on a escalator full of porcupines and running chainsaws, you may just lead an uneventful life until the ripe old age of 108, and there’s no point in worrying about which one you are, cause you can’t do anything about it, and if you could know, would you even want to???
